August 27, 2004 was the day that Sydney Gabrielle Copher was born. August 27, 2013 was the day we left Michigan to start a new life in Delaware. But August 27, 2007 was the worst day of my life.
I was expecting 50 people at the house for Sydney’s third birthday. I planned a beach theme party. All of our family and friends were coming to our home. Sydney enjoyed the cake and ice cream but during this time she enjoyed playing by herself.
Her dad bought her all of the Backyardigans. So she was playing with those while the other kids enjoyed the games, bouncy house and play structure. It was a wonderful day. I couldn’t wait to clean up and get to bed.
I never expected that someone that I truly loved with all of my heart would attempt to commit suicide later that night. Did I miss the signs? Was there a cry for help that I hadn’t noticed? How selfish are you to attempt to take your life?
Hearing someone that you love feel like they have no value or reason to live is heartbreaking. I wasn’t a counselor. I didn’t know how to help. You have heard me say that I am not a fan of guns. I’m not against anyone that has one. For me it’s terrifying and August 27, 2007 is the reason why.
That night I had to make a split decision to save another person’s life without endangering my own. I called on Jesus and remember saying not tonight Satan. I tried to assure this person that nothing you have done is worth taking your life. Pray with me, ask for forgiveness but give me the weapon.
I won’t go into more details but it will make more sense to you when you read my memoir. I never thought I would have been put in that situation. Because this person reached out for my help made me believe this was a cry for help. Now they would have to seek professional help.
The next days that followed were painful, uncertain and emotional. But God answered my prayers in the midst of a trauma.
13 Reasons Why, why did I let you bring up these past memories that were my skeletons in my closet? Why did you make me confront the past? I know why. People need to know that dealing with depression isn’t something that you should be ashamed of. If there is a history of mental illness in your family, share that information. Think about your children. For a person to feel so helpless and lost that killing themselves will make it better brings tears to my eyes. We have all been depressed and down. Maybe some people have thought about suicide, but God showed you that He has plans for you.
Know the signs of suicide and depression. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. When a person commits suicide, they leave behind family and friends that are hurting more than you could ever know.
I think with the recent suicide deaths of Aaron Hernandez and Sheila Abdus-Salaam the judge in NY, people are finally beginning to wake up to the fact that depression is serious business and we need to help those suffering. I am sorry to hear that you had to deal with this type of loss and am glad that you are helping others with your words.
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I agree. I hope that people will begin to seek help when they are depressed or feel lost.
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Unfortunately, when someone does commit suicide, they are not thinking about how their death will affect others. They are in a deep, dark hole and they are having a very hard time trying to find a way out. They are not selfish, just unaware and deeply depressed. I know because I had someone close to me do just that. Just try your best to see the signs. It is very hard to do, but keep trying. Every person is well worth the effort. Tell them that even though the situation looks hopeless, tomorrow will be better!
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I am sorry to hear about your loss. I was in such a panic mode that selfish was the first word that came to mind. But you are right. They are lost in depression. I have learned from the incident to be more aware. Thank you for sharing. This is difficult topic to discuss.
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