Plot Twist

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Everyone loves a great story. The story gets even better when there is a plot twist. In our home the words Plot Twist, can be a game changer.

We all love routine and schedules. I know that when my schedule changes abruptly. I am often thrown off guard. Think about what happens to children with autism when a change in routine occurs.

If the change is unexpected. It could cause distress. Not only for the child. But for the family or everyone within twenty feet. Here’s the perfect example.

Harrison, Sydney and I had plans to go to the Can Do Playground in Wilmington. I prepped Syd the night before. We were all set. The next day we were in the car driving to the park. We pulled into the parking lot and the beautiful sky that was visible turned gray. I didn’t think anything of it. I thought we could play for a bit.

As we walked toward the park. I felt a sprinkle of rain. Instantly, the sprinkle turned into a downpour. The look on Sydney’s face said it all. It was a mix of disappointment and frustration.

The difference on this day was that she could tell me why she was upset. And she didn’t scream it at me. I yelled, “Plot Twist”. That’s our code for plans have changed. Everyone remain calm. Now on to plan B which I never have lately.

Sydney didn’t get upset going back to the car. She did use echolalia as a calming strategy. She probably said Plot Twist at least 50 times before she calmed herself down. I’ll take that.

Plot Twist has been a God’s send for us. Now when things don’t go our way. Plot Twist is our go to phrase. Then we all freeze and pray and make a run for it.

 

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Just Call Me The Bachelorette

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I’ve talked about my Auntie ReRe with you all before. She lives in Michigan. When my parents moved to Delaware twenty-four years ago. Auntie ReRe and the rest of my family would look out for me. I think that is why it was so hard for me to leave them all.

Auntie ReRe loves to hear about what’s going on with our family. She just started texting so that has been fun. Last week she asked me about my dating life. I always like to give her a few laughs. Bless her heart. She always asks about my ex. I told her she should really call him. He would love to hear from her.

I told her about my Stella moment and she loved it. We talked for a while and she finally said, “I’m going to call you the next bachelorette!” Let me tell you about bachelor #1.

Last week I had to take care of some business at the dealership. The gentlemen that helped me was very nice. A few days later he texted me to make sure that I was satisfied with his service. I thought that is different but nice. His next text was to ask me out on a date. Red Flag? Stalker? So, I gave Sydney my phone and she sent him a text about her birthday list, the history of the Nile river and Mary Poppins songs. We didn’t hear from him again.

Bachelor #2

I also met him at the dealership when I was leaving.  I know crazy right?  We talked on the phone a few times.  He was nice.  Then he said it.  The “R” word.  After explaining  The Spread The Word To End the Word Campaign.  He still didn’t grasp the concept.  That was proof that no matter how many degrees and letters you have behind your name.  You still can lack common sense.

Bachelor # 3

He is a friend that I met two years ago.  Great guy.  But I feel like more of his therapist.  Which is fine. I am really good at being a therapist and life coach.   But there’s a line between patient and therapist that you don’t cross.   I’ve seen the signs I am not messing with that!!!!!

Auntie ReRe said that I should get out more and enjoy life. And that is exactly what I have been doing. It is nice to have friends.  I have learned that I am attracted to a man’s personality before his looks.  Am I the next bachelorette? I don’t think so. It would be easy to line them all up so I could interview them and keep it moving. Just a thought.

Then there’s bachelor #4…………..

 

The Purple Bra

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I really didn’t want to use a picture of a purple bra for today’s blog.

She shrugs her shoulders. I think she even mumbled under her breath. When I told her it was time for bed. And when I gave her the wrong juice with breakfast. She said, “Mom you should pay attention.” Is she talking to me? Who does she think she is?

All of this from a little girl who grunted to communicate until the age of six. She screamed because she was so frustrated that she couldn’t communicate with us. Now she is definitely a teenager.

August 27th will be an emotional day. It’s the anniversary of our move to Delaware. The day that someone I loved attempted suicide in front of me. And it’s Sydney’s 13th birthday.

I’ll admit that it is a lot for me to digest. But I am much stronger now. The emotions that I will feel on that day will not include tears.

Instead, I will enjoy the moment and thank God for our blessings. Sydney is excited about her birthday. She wants to do some online shopping of course. She has her list of things that she would love for her birthday. Harrison bought her an Amazon gift card already.

Yesterday Sydney asked me for a purple bra. Seriously? I told her that I don’t even have a purple bra. She couldn’t stop laughing. When I think of a purple bra. I think of the Victoria Secret’s catalog. I will see if I can find the birthday girl a lavender “kiddie” bra.

There was a time I bought her gifts for her birthday and she didn’t know the appropriate way to play with them. They sat in toy box for years. Syd the kid has come a long way, with God’s grace and mercy and your prayers.

What Aisle For The Princess Pads?

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I knew there was a reason that I didn’t post a blog this morning. Today’s blog happened within the past hour. Sydney and I decided to go to Giant. Her favorite grocery store. We had our list. Since it was raining. She had to be very dramatic with her Mary Poppins song selection.

I told her we only needed a few things. She immediately grabbed the smaller cart. She went directly to the fruit section. She grabbed her blackberries, grapes and raspberries. As I checked things off of the list. I would read off what we needed next.

Sydney continued pushing the shopping cart and reading the signs for each aisle. We were doing great. And moving quickly I might add. A worker asked us if we were finding everything okay. I said yes. Well, that’s when Sydney said “What aisle for the princess pads?” Now the princess pads was my idea to help Sydney understand her period and what she needed. The princess pads go in a special princess purse that she keeps in her back pack at school.

So, the surprised look on the poor worker’s face, made me break out in a hot flash. I was speechless as she led us to the coloring book aisle and showed Sydney the princess books. I knew it was time to intervene, to let her know we needed the feminine hygiene aisle. The lady fell in love with the princess pad concept. She wanted to hear all about autism and the princess pads. I gave her a business card and told her to read the blog later today.

We are almost out of the store but we needed the ice cream. Sydney picks up two gallons. Before I could even tell her that we don’t need two gallons of ice cream. She said, “It’s 2 for $5 and pointed to the sign.

Next stop The Liquor Store.

Sydney really showed her independence today. She will be 13 years old in two weeks. She enjoys going out in the community now. And when we do go out it is always an adventure.

Respect

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When I was younger I remember singing Respect by Aretha Franklin in front of a mirror, with a hairbrush as my microphone. I loved that song. I had no clue about what the lyrics meant. Now, when I sing that song. I realize her lyrics are fierce!

I was always taught to respect my elders and authority. But most importantly my mother taught me to respect my body and myself.

You don’t have to agree with a person or even like the person. But you most show people respect. Remember your children are watching how you treat others.

You should never lower your standards or values that you believe in. Especially when it comes to dating. When you see the first sign of disrespect, take notice. That was something that I failed to do in my marriage. When I think back. I allowed myself to be disrespected. That experience taught me a valuable lesson.

Self respect is everything. Respect is earned. Never beg a person to respect you. Be patient. This applies to relationships, friendships and encounters that you have with coworkers.

I shared with Harrison that I was going on a date. No, it wasn’t The Toothpaste Man. Harrison had questions. Where are you going? How long will you be gone? What’s his last name? Just the basics right. His next question made me proud of him. Harrison said, “Does he respect you?” Drop the mic. I was done. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry.

Know your worth. Respect is everything.

 

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I Changed My Mindset

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Have you taken a moment to think about your mindset? As a blogger I have taken the time to focus on my mindset and see where I needed to make adjustments in my life. So much of the stress was being caused by my insecurities and the opinions of what others said or thought about me. It has been a process. But I encourage you to take time and change your mindset. It will change your life.

I had a fixed mindset when it came to many areas of my life. After much reflection and prayer.  I was able to develop a growth mindset. Situations that I felt I was failing at. I now turned them into learning experiences. I no longer seek the approval of others. That might just have come with age!

Criticism for me can be constructive and positive. I no longer view my flaws as negative. I have created a sense of purpose in all areas of my life. It was hard to face some areas of my life. But in order for me to have peace and move forward it had to be done.

My weight has been the topic of focus for me. I can’t do a minute plank yet. “Yet” is the key word that you must attach to all of your statements. I haven’t been able to stay on the elliptical for 45 minutes yet. My favorite jeans don’t fit me yet. I have changed my mindset and I feel better at approaching my challenges with my current weight.

The kids and I are always setting goals. We made changes to our vision board this weekend. There were several things on our vision board that we accomplished this summer. The kids were smiling and happy to reflect on the process of our accomplishments.

Reflection is essential for me. It helps guide my next move. It drives me to challenge myself to be better. Reflecting is not always pleasant especially when the topic is difficult. Or if it wasn’t your shining moment. Some of the best lessons in life I learned after a tough situation.

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Do you have a fixed mindset? Are you ready for a change?

I Am Looking For The Perfect….

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The perfect black dress. The perfect pair of jeans. The perfect man. The perfect job. A perfect score on an exam. Does perfect really exist?

I am not perfect by any means. My marriage wasn’t perfect. I am not a perfect mother. Life isn’t always fair. How will you respond?

If you are looking for the perfect man. I am not going to tell you to stop looking. Sometimes the perfect man for you is right before your eyes. Yet, you pass him by because of your ideas of perfection.

Perhaps it is the perfect job that you desire. You have the ability to make your job perfect. The power is in your hands.

We all want things to be perfect. And I think that is great. I hosted an event on Thursday and I wanted everything to be perfect. I envisioned the tasting room filled with family and friends. The evening was perfect. But it wasn’t what I had in mind initially. I could have worried that there were not enough people there. But we made it work and my event was a huge success.

We have to remember to teach our children that things don’t always work out perfectly as planned. But that doesn’t mean it is a tragedy.

Life teaches us how to grow from our daily experiences. Especially when things don’t go as we planned. Yes, I believe that some things are perfect. Like the sun setting over the water. The sight of a newborn baby and God’s love for us.

Some things may never be perfect. Don’t throw away a chance at finding out just how special that moment, person, experience or job really is.

I was searching for something and it needed to be perfect. It wasn’t until I took a closer look at the flaws and realized that perfect was staring back at me.