My emotions are all over the place. No, it is not my hormones. I am excited and anxious for Harrison and the milestones that will occur over the next two weeks. Friday is his 8th grade formal. Friday, June 9th is the 8th grade ceremony. My little man is growing up.
Then I started thinking about Sydney. She will be in the 8th grade next year. In August she will be 13 years old. Jesus take the wheel! Where did the time go? I am mad at myself for wasting time on the silly things that really were not that important in the past.
Sydney has been surprising us all lately with her expressive language. She had a conversation with her dad on the phone last week. She wasn’t sure what he was going to ask her. But as I watched her. I could tell that she was processing his questions and she took her time to respond.
I think she talks more with her brother and Mr. Kirk, her para and of course to Poppa. She brought me a book over the weekend to read with her. I just knew it was Junie B. Jones or Descendants. She had the adapted version of her book from school on The Aztecs. This was a change from Disney Princess stories. Sydney is growing up.
I admit I had a mommy meltdown moment. I started listening to Forever Young by Alphaville. I reminisced about their milestones and our life in Michigan. My thoughts went back to the day we moved to Delaware. In four years our lives have changed for the best. It reminded me to not sweat the small stuff and focus on my children and enjoy life.
Just when I pulled it together. I heard Sydney call me. “Mom, can you help me please?” I paused for a moment, shocked at what I had heard. “Mom, I need your help please.” What happened to Mommy? I have always been mommy. Did she really just call me mom? Twice? In two complete sentences? I cried again. This time tears of joy. I waited years for Sydney to call me mommy. Autism took her voice away. Now to hear her call me Mom, she sounded like a teenager. All of the sleepless nights, the hours of therapy, the changing of doctors, the advocating on her behalf all paid off.
No matter what you are going through today. Your situation may look hopeless. You may be at rock bottom. Don’t stay there. You have the power to change your circumstances. It won’t happen right away. It will be painful and you will be exhausted. But if you stop. You will never be able to forgive yourself. If I hadn’t accepted Sydney’s autism diagnosis. She would not be where she is today.
For those of you that don’t believe in miracles. Let me remind you that I am the mother of two children that doctors said I would never have. And I didn’t have to pay for them. No, I am not against IVF. But we didn’t have money for that. Doctors told me that Harrison would be blind in one eye because of the oxygen given to him at 32 weeks in the NICU. Then there is Sydney. Doctors basically told me to look at group homes for her. She wouldn’t be able to communicate or “behave” appropriately.
I believe in miracles and you should too! Wait and see what priceless miracles will happen in your life.