I Wish I Could Tell You Everything Will Be Fine

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She wanted me to tell her that everything would be okay. I don’t remember anyone ever telling me that it would be okay. But I guess I should tell her what she wants to hear. That is not fair to her.

I need to find out if she believes in God. When I start giving her scriptures to read she may look at me with the stink eye. My go to scriptures saved me. I have to tell her about those. She will need them when no on else is around.

I don’t know why I agreed to do this. I don’t have all of the answers. I am still learning every day. Autism sucks today.  Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like an autism advocate now. Do I tell her she will lose her friends? Do I tell her that her family will be hard on her and question her parenting? No, I won’t do that. My autism journey and her autism journey will be completely different. She doesn’t want to hear about Syd spreading her feces on the wall when she was two because of sensory issues.  I shouldn’t tell her that story.

She doesn’t want to hear about the fight she will have with the schools, insurance companies and the world in general. Maybe I will tell her that for every friend she loses. God will provide new friends along the way. I feel like I should be honest and tell her that it will be lonely at times.

I can’t be Debbie Downer. I blog about faith and inspiration. Not negativity. But Autism Sucks today.

That was the conversation that I had with myself before I met a new family that just heard the word “autism”. I was asked to talk with the parents and share my journey. I wanted to give them hope. But I didn’t want to paint a perfect picture.

The next three hours we talked and cried. I was mad at myself for letting negativity invade my soul. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help. It was just that I didn’t want to scare them. I didn’t want to cause more anxiety in their life. But I remember the mom telling me to be honest and that is exactly what I did when we talked. By the end of our talk. They both said that I should be a comedian. It was the humor of my stories that gave them hope. And they respected me for that.

I am still trying to figure out what my role in the autism community really is. Do I work with families as a parent liaison with the schools? Should I just finish my book Embracing Autism? Only time will tell.  Be patient and trust in God’s timing, is what I keep reminding myself.

Since I have started this journey.   I know that I can’t stop. I am looking for acceptance and opportunities for all families that live with special needs. They need to know that there is a community of people who have empathy and not pity.

Momentary doubt and sadness will happen.  Just don’t let it linger.  Shake it off and rise above your circumstances. This applies to other situations.  Not just living with autism.

 

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