I was in a mood today, and it wasn’t the weather or my lack of sleep from last night. I realized that every day won’t always be roses. I’m mad at myself for allowing comments that were made to me magnify into a million scenarios in my head.
I almost allowed myself to have a mini breakdown because the landscaping company has yet to cut my lawn after several calls. I kept thinking my neighbors must think I’m ghetto fabulous and pretty soon they are going to post a picture of my house on the residents Facebook page. Which almost prompted me to go to Home Depot and buy my own damn lawn mower. Then I remembered I had no way to get it home.
I went on an impulse cleaning spree which was really needed but I needed an out of body experience to kick my ass in gear to get it done. I didn’t have time to sort piles, everything was going in the garbage. This felt similar to my cleaning episode I wrote about in my book after my divorce.
Am I doing my children a disservice by always appearing strong? Will they really understand that anything worth having takes grit, tears and pain at times?
I took a moment to stand outside before the evening storms began. Just like those dark clouds I had to let all of my feelings from today move away from over my head.
What was I missing? Who was I missing? Today’s emotions were necessary because I needed to deal with a few things that I didn’t realize were still troubling me. It’s amazing how much better you feel when the dark clouds pass.