I have really loved seeing all of the I love my spouse challenge pictures on FB. We need to see more pictures of love and hope like that today. Seeing your pictures really makes me smile. So keep them coming. I was talking with my friend, Diana last week and I was telling her I was going to think of a way to do an ex-husband challenge blog with humor and honesty. So here goes.
This is my letter to Robert. This is not a baby, baby please I miss you, I want you back letter. So don’t go trying to find him and tell him that please. Secondly, I’m sure you are thinking why does she still have all of these pictures of her ex? Well my children were conceived in love. I want them to always know that. I don’t regret marrying their father. We captured many wonderful family memories in photos. I want my children to have these pictures when they grow up. I also still have my wedding album, which I was a little on the fence about what to do with it. I admit at first I was going to cut out his face and put in pictures of Shemar Moore. But then I felt like the leading lady in a Lifetime movie. So, I thought about taking a black sharpie marker and scribbling out his face. But that was just as bad. I decided to leave the pictures intact because after all I was a beautiful bride. I’m saving the album for my kids. It’s in their “memory chest” along with their wristbands from the hospital, etc.
I hope that this letter finds you well. My prayer for you is that you are happy and enjoying your new life as much as the children and I are. I have so many things to thank you for. The two biggest things are Harrison and Sydney. As he gets older, I’ve noticed that Harrison has some of your mannerisms. He was even walking like you earlier today. And Syd has your attitude.
I have to thank you for staying by my side when I was sick and how you took good care of me after all of my surgeries. Thank you for introducing to me some great people who are still in my life today, despite our divorce. Thank you Robert for being silent during our divorce. I think there were times when you wanted to speak but God silenced your tongue.
Thank you Robert for showing me that I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Thanks for reminding me that revenge is never an option. Thank you for reminding me to trust God and not run and tell everyone what is going on in my life. Until now anyways. Thank you for showing me that I am strong, beautiful, smart and a wonderful mommy. Thank you for allowing me to continue to live after having my heart-broken in a thousand pieces. Thank you for telling me that the house with the white picket fence is not always what it seems.
Robert, I don’t hate you. I love you as the father of my children. But I am not in love with you anymore. Thank you for the wonderful, fun years, the vacations and the memories. This may sound crazy but I thank you for the years that weren’t all happy, happy, joy, joy too. Those years showed me that I was not built to break. Those were the years where my strength grew and I began to walk boldly. It was in those years that I learned to build a deeper relationship with God. It was in those years that I learned to walk by faith and not by sight.
Thank you Robert for showing me that just because plan A didn’t work it wasn’t the end of me. You taught me so much in 17 years. You taught me how to survive my darkest hour. I didn’t know my own strength. You taught me to appreciate my true worth and not settle for less. You taught me how to fight like hell for what I believed in. But God gave me discernment and wisdom on when to throw in the towel.
The biggest thing you taught me was forgiveness. My life can go on because I am at peace and have no hatred towards you. Which is something I wouldn’t have been able to say two years ago.
I’m glad that you were on part of my journey with me. Now I am able to move forward and receive the blessings that God has been preparing me for. I wouldn’t change my life at all right now.
Love your first wife, Brooke. Just in case you decide to jump the broom again.