This blog isn’t only for the single mothers. It is for all moms, grandmothers, aunts, and anyone who plays a role in raising children as we head back to school. The demands of working full time and taking care of home can be overwhelming. Being a stay at home mom is also an overwhelming job to manage too.
We all have our Mommy Dearest moments, when we scream “No more wire hangers!”. Well, one thing that I’ve learned to do this summer was to “Do Brooke” to prevent Mommy Dearest moments in the future. I made myself a priority which made me a better mommy. Even if it was only ten minutes of journaling, having a dance party all by myself, sitting on the deck to enjoy a glass of wine or two, or using FaceTime with my besties from Michigan. I had “me ” time. But this time was different. I didn’t feel guilty afterwards.
I have promised myself not to get stressed out this school year and I mean it. When the stack of papers start rolling in. I will sign and return them ASAP. This year I will not allow piles of papers to take over my office, my life or the kitchen table. When Harrison and Sydney bring papers home from school. They can pick one paper to save if they choose and the rest goes in recycling. Everything(my work from school, laundry etc) will have a time limit each night. When the timer goes off I will move on to the next task.
I promise not to stress out if I can’t support every fundraising event at their school. This year I will make a one time donation and support in other ways when I can. If I can’t attend field trips with Harrison and watch Sydney perform in Special Olympics, I know that someone will capture the moment for me. I won’t hate myself for not being able to attend and support them. They know I am in their corner 100%.
I will not feel guilty because I haven’t signed my children up for five different after school activities. I know my limits and they will be fine. No more feeling bad because my teacher gifts don’t look all “Pinteresty”. Who am I competing with? Is the teacher going to give my children a better grade because of a gift? Of course not.
There will be days when the children will forget to turn in an assignment, l won’t sign a form, forget that it is picture day, or the kids will forget their lunch. That doesn’t mean I am a bad mom and it will serve as a learning experience for all of us.
We will do our best to have dinner together as a family. Or in our case enjoy dinner one on one with each child separately some nights. It is not the end of the world if they don’t get invited to play dates and birthday parties this year. I won’t force my kids to be included if they are not accepted. This doesn’t mean that they don’t have friends.
No more Mommy guilt! It has to stop here!
Women, we are strong, loving and fighters. Our proud mommy moments always outweigh the bad ones. Please stop beating yourself up for loosing your patience, not following through with consequences, for yelling at your husband or feeding the kids ice cream for dinner. Even if no one tells you. You are human and doing an amazing job. Never forget that.
Stop competing with the mom next door. She looks like she’s got it all together in her perfect world. But she is one step away from cray cray just like the rest of us. I was guilty of this as well when I became a single mom. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, compared to married moms. But I learned to remember all that glitters isn’t gold.
Remember don’t judge that mom that couldn’t invite the entire class to her child’s birthday party. Don’t judge the mom who’s always late or shame her for not being all decked out in the latest fashion styles. We are all doing the best we can. A smile goes a long way. But first you must be able to smile at yourself in the mirror every morning and yell “Let’s do this!”.
No back to school blues allowed. We’ve got this! Embrace you! The only person you are competing with is yourself.