What The ………?

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I know I am not the only one that has thought to themselves. What in the hell am I doing?

We are so quick to tell people that we are okay. But in reality we are bound by chains and shackles. We may still be walking, but we are dragging along extra baggage.

It might be doubt, stress, anxiety, depression, hopelessness or despair. At some point in our lives we have to break the chains. I had no idea how much was weighing me down. Memories from the past, worry about the future and stress about my current situation. It was a struggle for me to face the world.

One day I was sitting in my car and I asked myself. What in the hell are you doing? I wasn’t happy. I was looking for a change. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. But I was living a lie. Even my smile was fake.

Inside I was hurting and could cry in an instant. How did I get here? How did I allow myself to fall in this hole of despair? This wasn’t a pity party. This was a personal intervention.

The only person that had the key to get me out of the prison I was living in was me. The decisions that I would need to make would upset some. But they don’t walk in my shoes. They would not begin to try to understand my circumstances.

Would I lose friends? Probably, but would I gain peace of mind? Well, it will be worth it. If you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel lost. Don’t blame others. Pull yourself together and handle your business. You already know what you need to do. Just exhale and do it.

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