What If She Doesn’t Make It?

I think I’m tired of people telling me that Syd won’t care if she misses the DC trip. Or will she really care if she’s not included. What if she doesn’t make it and gets cut from cheerleading tryouts?

I have flashbacks of going to the preview night for the play and being asked why is she here? Today is the 8th grade trip to DC. Syd isn’t going. I wanted to make sure her seizures were under control. Mr. V and I both explained to her that she would miss the trip. Her reply was Anne Frank. We had passes for The Holocaust Museum. I told you she gets it. I told you she understands. I told you she has feelings. I told you so!

It slipped my mind that the entire 8th grade wouldn’t be in school. That would be difficult for Syd. Then I had to think where’s she going to go. I have to work. It’s always something.

Cheerleading tryouts for ninth graders are May 21st. This is something Syd has expressed an interest in. Well all I’ve heard is what if they don’t take her? Or they will take her because she’s special.   I felt like singing This Is Me from The Greatest Showman. People called when the token black when I was in predominantly white settings. I’ll be dammed if anyone calls my daughter the token special needs kid.

The tryouts will be long. I will have to arrange for her to get to the high school by 3:00. She can have a para attend tryouts with her. Do I let her do it? Am I asking too much? Am I wrong for wanting her to try? What if she doesn’t make it?

I was told that they hope to have a unified cheer team. I’m guessing she just has to be breathing to make the team. Maybe that was their polite way to say that would be a better fit for her? Well the told me a secluded spec ed class was best for her. And she proved them wrong.

Can’t she just tryout without the extra comments and assumptions?  I was asked how do I know she wants to really do cheerleading? I guess the same way your child tells you they want new shoes or to go to the movies. That’s when I start to second guess including Syd with her peers. Just once I want to have her take an interest in something and we show up. Not having people stare at us like we have three eyes and two heads.

Maybe I will start my own cheerleading team! Maybe I’ll start my own nonprofit. Maybe I’ll run for the senate. I don’t have all of the answers. I know people mean well. But sometimes your comments hurt my feelings.

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