Diary of A Mad Black Woman is one of my favorite movies, because Shemar Moore is a part of the cast. Also, because I can relate to some of the things that the main character experienced. In the movie her husband is unfaithful, she gets divorced, she is searching for love again, her ex-husband realizes the errors of his ways and she keeps a diary. Sound pretty familiar?
I have been thinking about how the term “angry black woman” came to be. Were we considered angry black women because we raised our voices? Shrugged our shoulders and rolled our eyes? Or maybe it was because we did two snaps and a twist in a circle to get our point across. Were we always on the defensive or just afraid to let our guard down?
I wonder why we were so angry. Were we angry at our black men and the role they were playing in society and in our families? Were we mad that we were discriminated against, within our race and by others, even before we opened our mouths to speak?
I guess I used to be an angry black woman. I was angry that my marriage was failing. I was angry because of autism. I was angry because I felt like I wasn’t good enough or doing enough to save my family.
Yes, I was angry but I never let it show. You didn’t know the anger I held in my heart because I was a pro as disguising it. I do think that you can mask the anger for so long until you snap! For me I had to remember “classy not trashy” . So I knew my limits. What sometimes comes across as anger is really having a voice and standing up for yourself. It is not to viewed as being angry.
One day I realized that holding onto anger was only hurting me, not the other person that I was angry with. When I finally released that anger my life changed. There is a debate that if you truly forgive someone you forget their actions as well. I believe that you can forgive someone but you will never forget the hurt they caused. The hurt is your battle scar to remind you to never let that happen to you again.
Today if you holding onto anger toward a friend, spouse, ex, co-worker, neighbor etc it is time to make a change. Let the anger go. Remember that you can walk boldly and confidently without being viewed as angry or aggressive.
Silence is the most powerful scream. -Anonymous