I have always admired single mothers. Not knowing that I would one day be included in that group of strong and powerful women. Some single moms are very private about their lives and that is perfectly fine. Then you have mothers like me that choose to share my story with others. Not for pity, but for encouragement and as a testimony. However, there are some confessions that single moms want to share but aren’t quite sure how to do so.
A Woman’s Work has given me the platform and courage to do so. You may not agree with my confessions. Feel free to leave comments that will generate meaningful conversations. So, here goes.
- Being a single mom can get lonely at times. In my house it is always busy. Sometimes I am too tired to realize that I am lonely. But there are times when I would like to have adult conversation and not watch YouTube videos, create Minecraft worlds and play games on the Playstation 4.
- My parents and sister have been very supportive. But it was very embarrassing to have to move back in with my parents at 42 years old. I know it was the best decision. It gave me time to regroup and get a plan in motion for my kids. I felt like I let my kids down and was a failure.
- Using sick days for myself is not an option. My situation may be the exception because of autism and epilepsy. We have all gone to work not feeling 100%. But for a single mom we save our days for when our kids are sick. For those just in case Harrison and Sydney get sick in the middle of the night and I need to take off days. Scheduling appointments for Sydney can’t always be made after 4:00 pm. So I try to squeeze as many appointments in one day that I can. I’ve worked with a migraine, upset stomach, bronchitis, and lack of sleep. Because that is what I have to do. And when I am at work I WORK!
- Finances are always a concern. I believe that two parent families feel this way as well. The cost of Sydney’s medical needs each year is $70,000 and rising. Yes, I have insurance but not everything is covered by insurance. When I see the progress that she’s made being included in different programs and therapies I know that it is worth it. I always make sure my kids have what they need first. They may ask for things and I have to tell them no. That is a part of life. I think it has taught them to save for things that they want and to value what really is important.
- This is a tough one. I’ve been told by several people that they know what it is like to be a single mom because their husband is never home and travels a lot for work. ( Namaste, deep breath, Jesus take the wheel). I am not sure how you can compare the two situations. I work fulltime, take care of our home, go to parent teacher conferences, school events, make the lunches, help with homework, take care of them when they are sick. And the list goes on and on. I usually just smile when people say this to me because I really don’t think that having a discussion with them would make a difference.
I wake up everyday thanking God for His mercy and guidance. I look at my children and I know why I work hard. I look at my children and know that they are watching my every move. I am raising my children to be leaders and productive members of society. I admire ALL women, and mothers that are giving over 100% everyday to keep their family together. But I have a special place in my heart and send prayers for the single moms and the single special needs moms. You are not alone, you are loved and you are doing everything in your power to raise your family. I think sometimes people forget what others may be going through if they have never been exposed to their world.
These are my single mom confessions.