Sydney walked into cheer practice with her theme song “I’m Coming Out” playing. She was ready. She did a great job following directions and participating. I think she really enjoys working with the girls. Her last practice is this Saturday.
After cheer practice we went out to eat then went home. I promised her she could ride her bike. Earlier that day her school ipad was disabled. She thought she left the kindle at my parents house and the extra, extra ipad was broken. So it would be a non electronic day but it was 70 degrees outside. So, we would spend the day outdoors.
When we finally made it home. She went to the garage to get her bike. We made it to the next driveway and the chain was loose. I tried to adjust the chain but something was wrong. We would need help with tools and some bicycle knowledge. I explained to Syd that the bike needed some repairs and we would have to have someone help us. We pushed the bike back to the garage and she handled the change/disappointment well.
We came inside and she went to my room. I thought we would watch a movie together. That happy, smiling, cheerful child was gone. Now I was looking at a twelve-year-old with hormones raging, on her period and all of the triggers finally clicked. Now, God I don’t mind the autism but you could have cut me some slack and kept that period!!!!
Syd asked for her bike, her iPad her kindle, Pappa(my daddy), Mr. Martin, her second grade teacher and chocolate ice cream. You name it she needed it. We went to Australia and I was silent. I didn’t instruct her to do her breathing or point to her calm down charts. I was ready to ride this out. This was her first meltdown at home with me in over a month. So I guess she had to make up for lost time. She began to cry. Before Harrison could come to my room I told him I’ve got it. Go and enjoy his day. We sat in Australia for two hours.
She would cry loudly and then sob. Next, she would look at me with those beautiful brown eyes and cry again. I couldn’t help her. This was hormonal, and internal. This was autism. I held her and prayed. I recited my “go to” scriptures in my head.
I thought she would cry herself to sleep but she didn’t. After two hours she stopped crying. She wanted a nice bubble bath and I wanted a glass of Gnarly Head Pinot Noir.
I needed help with her bike. So I posted on our community Facebook page just to see if anyone could take a look at the bike. Immediately messages poured in, with people asking to look at her bike. The doorbell rang and I thought if this is my ex-husband again, I am throwing in the towel. But it was my next door neighbor. Her dad fixes bicycles and wanted me to bring her bike over. Our guardian angel next door, fixed Sydney’s bike for us. She was able to ride her bike that same evening.
The rest of our day was fine. But we were all exhausted. No matter how much I blog or share videos of living with autism. I am not sure if you will ever truly understand it. Until you live it 24 hours a day and seven days a week.
This is our story.