At the chance to date me. Thanks Susan for today’s blog title.
I’ve shared my dating journey with all of you. There are challenges dating after divorce. There are also challenges dating with children. In my case there are other factors to consider when you have a child with special needs.
I decided to give match.com a try again for a month. I had 30 days to find a new friend or a serial killer. Let me explain my Match story first and then I will explain the meaning behind this blog.
So, I changed my profile pictures and wrote a new profile. Then I waited. Waited for someone to wink at me or send me an email. If you ever have to go on match.com you have to have thick skin. If you wink at someone and they don’t wink back. That’s okay. Just keep searching.
Well I searched and winked at a few people. But no love connection. Next, I decided not to “flirt” and wait for a man to reach out to me. Then I noticed a pattern. Black men wouldn’t email, wink at me or return a wink. They would view my profile but that’s where it ended.
I was attracting white males between the ages of 35-60. So I replied to their emails. One man chose his cat over me, but I am over that now. I had to think realistically New Jersey, and Virginia that’s too far away. I can barely make it to Planet Fitness without the kids.
Now it was time to research my new data. I’m open to love anyone that will truly respect me. My friends were helpful. I asked men and women about my new findings. Their answers were interesting. Most of the men I asked said I was over thinking and that a black man would be proud to date me. Some men said that a black male wouldn’t date me unless he was better off financially than me. I had to remind them. I earn a teaching salary.
I asked 20 people of different ages and races and it was eye-opening. It was interesting to see how black women are perceived by others. Some immediately mentioned “the angry black woman”. I guess I have The Real Housewives and other reality tv shows to thank for that.
It takes a strong man to love a strong woman. I won’t portray myself as weak. There are many things that I need a man’s knowledge and help for. Yes, I can take care of my family because those are the cards that I was dealt. But it doesn’t mean I will settle just to have someone in my life. It is not just about me. I have Harrison and Sydney to think of as well.
So I guess the movie title was right, White Men Can Jump! At the chance to date me.
6 thoughts on “Black Men Can’t Jump……”
Well Brooke, you know, I married a white guy and 18 years later we are still happy together. Sometimes life throws you curve balls that are unexpected (as in my case). Just be open to the idea that something new and different can lead to happiness and fulfillment and be careful with your heart. It is precious.
Thanks for sharing Rene. I feel as though my heart is guarded. Not trying to just let anyone in. But maybe I’ve let a few pass me by. You have a beautiful family.
Wow, Brooke….I really enjoyed reading your article, it was to the point!. I too am single, independent, and sassy in a good sense (meaning that I know who I am, and that I know my self worth). I refuse to allow someone whether they are black, white, green, orange, or purple to enter my personal space that doesn’t recognize, and respect my strengths. I’m not a yes, yes person, but I know how, and when to compromise…I just happen to have standards and requirements that I have set for myself. Not only that, but I know where I have been, and I’m not willing to go back down the wrong road with the wrong person. If brothers choose to stereo type strong African American women as being ANGRY, perhaps they need to work on their insecurity issues, where their pants, handle their responsibilities, and minimize their big egos.
“A strong man knows how to deal with a strong woman. A weak man will say that she has an attitude.”
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Yes! So accurate.
Correction, I meant wear their pants.
Or perhaps, I meant…where are their pants? LOL
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