An Excerpt From….

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Is he really taking the skillet? I bought that black cast iron skillet. I need that skillet to make my cornbread for Thanksgiving. If I was ghetto fabulous. I would hit him in the head with this skillet. Remember, classy not trashy. My parents didn’t raise me like that. Okay, Brooke just breathe.

He’s really doing this. He is leaving his family for Trixie. No, Trixie is not her real name. Right now I don’t have any respect for her.  There are some other names that I could call her.  But, I just like the way Trixie sounds. Maybe he will wait and load the boxes on the truck when it is dark out. If not, I will have to answer a million questions from Mrs. Jenkins in the morning.

I am waiting for the kids to start asking questions. This feels like a dream but I already pinched myself and it hurt. This is really happening. Should I offer to help him pack? I hope he leaves the hangers. I could use those for my clothes. Technically that suitcase has my id label on it. He should really take the smaller one. “But I have Harrison and Sydney. I have Harrison and Sydney”. This is what is helping me get through this.

I needed to put on my game face. I will not let him see me shed a tear. I can’t let him know he’s broken me. I am hurt, rejected, depressed and numb. But I can’t show him that. I will continue making dinner for the kids. I feel like I am going to be sick.

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This picture was taken two weeks ago.  But I think this captures my game face.

Oh, now he wants to talk. I wish he would have been this talkative when we were in counseling. Brooke, stay focused. He tells me he will come back and get the rest of his things. Our divorce would be final in four months. Four months living on my own with the kids. What am I thinking not just four months. I am getting divorced. Have you ever felt lonely in a relationship while living in your own home? He’s really leaving his family for Trixie?

I will not be a bitch and deny him the right to see his children. My children aren’t staying anywhere until I check it out first. I’m over thinking things. It probably won’t even come to that. Harrison is crying. I will let his dad handle that while I keep an eye out for Sydney.

Please call before you come back to get your things. At least give me that respect. That’s okay. I’ll get the locks changed eventually. But I have more important things to focus on. Like how in the hell am I going to get the kids to school and get to work on time. This before and after school care bill is going to kill me!

Yes, I am not going to lie. I am sad to see my husband of 13 years walk out of the door. But there was also a part of me that felt that a chain was broken. There goes my black cast iron skillet. Damn.

This is an excerpt from my memoir. I am in the process of going back and forth about ways to approach the book. My title is almost finalized. Still don’t have a publisher but I don’t have a finished product either. One thing I know for sure is that I made the right choice to share my journey with others. Hopefully my blogs and book will encourage you no matter what you are facing in life. You are not alone.

 

 

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