Yesterday I did something completely out of my comfort zone. I left the kids at home to go for a run. Well, it wasn’t really a run. It was a trot, a skip, a stroll. Okay, it was really more like a power walk.
I was in the neighborhood so it wasn’t like I was far away in case they needed me. I wasn’t even sure I could run to the corner and back. But I surprised myself. I walked a bit, ran a tiny bit and kept walking.
At each corner I would tell myself that I was going to turn around. The kids needed me. I should go back. But I kept going. Don’t worry I wasn’t abandoning them. I had to see how strong I really was. To be honest I wasn’t feeling strong lately at all.
Never once did I look back to see how far I was from home. I looked straight ahead. When I finally stopped. I sat down on the curb and cried. How in the hell was I going to get back home?
I started thinking about all of the times that I paid more attention to what was behind me. When I should have been focused on what was in front of me. That is what we do in life at times. We keep looking behind us. We end up walking into the same brick wall over and over again.
I was done, physically and mentally. A change was coming and it was starting with me. If I had to crawl. I was going to make it back home. It was in that moment that I started thinking about where I was in my life. I had to make some tough decisions that would require me to remove some people from my life. In the end it would all make sense.
I’m done running away from people, situations or my fears. Instead I will walk boldly away and not look back. In case you were wondering. I finally made it home.