Sleeping With The Enemy

Mommy told me that we need to break up. She never interferes in my personal life. But she must see the sadness in my eyes. I thought my MAC eyeshadow would fix that. Guess I was wrong. I should have stuck with Wet n Wild from Walgreens.

Sooner or later I would have to tell her. I’m sure she probably already knows. If I notice it, surely everyone else must notice too. I was sleeping with the enemy.

This was an intimate relationship but not what you are thinking. I was sleeping with the enemy and it was destroying me. I slept with fear, doubt, anxiety and sadness. I didn’t want fancy clothes and an expensive car. I just wanted happiness. I wanted my life back. What’s my purpose?

When you are sleeping with the enemy. You lose your mind! You wake up groggy and grumpy because you really didn’t sleep well. It didn’t matter how much I prayed. I still felt trapped. I was afraid to close my eyes to fall asleep.

My mind would never turn off. Instead, scenarios of what if, should have, and I wonder ran through my head. I allowed this toxic relationship to continue. I allowed negative feelings to take over. I felt hopeless. I was intimidated by change and failure.

I know I’m not the only one sleeping with the enemy. The enemy can be addiction, jealously, stress, anxiety or depression. It’s time to break up with what is holding you back and stealing your peace.

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