The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back

Was it the straw? Was it the wrong flavor of Sunkist? I don’t know what it was. But it came out of nowhere. And I wasn’t ready.

Two wonderful days of family, friends and celebrations. I couldn’t be happier. My aunts and uncles are here from Georgia and I’m glad we can visit with them. Today is Kayla’s graduation party. I’m so excited to share her success. We’ve been on a good streak. Until the damn straw broke the camel’s back.

Yesterday we had a great dinner at my parents house. When it was time to leave. Syd grabbed a soda. I can’t believe I called it soda. I was gathering our things. I asked Sydney if she wanted a straw. She said yes. I gave her a straw. Things were fine.

Out of nowhere she began an echolalia tune of “my straw, a straw, the straw”. I wasn’t sure what she was trying to tell me. I asked her to use her words. But she was trying to find the box of straws.

I wouldn’t figure it out until later that evening. She wanted a red straw instead of a blue straw. Something so easy yet so difficult.

Syd began to scream and get aggressive. It took less time to get her to calm down. When she did. We drove home in silence. It was the awkward silence when you don’t know if you should talk, sing, pray or cry.

As soon as we were home I began to analyze the situation. It’s not her lady days. Does she miss Mr. V? Is she ready for summer school? Or is she thinking about her dad? As much as I wanted to talk with her when she calmed down. I knew I wouldn’t get the answers I needed at that moment.

The hardest thing was listening to her sob for over an hour. Why is this happening? We had a great night on Friday. She was perfect at her award ceremony. She loved being at work with me.

This was different. This was confusing. This was hard. This was autism.

I can’t prepare for everything. I never know when the straw will break the camel’s back.

Confessions of an autism mom.

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