I love Harrison and Sydney with all of my heart. I will give my life for them if I had to do that. Each of my children have a special place in my heart for different reasons. We are family.
Harrison is just like any other teenager. He sleeps late. Eats all of the food as soon as I bring in the groceries. And he loves his video games.
Harrison’s PS4 is a way for him to connect with his friends. If he’s playing on that. I know he’s not out walking the streets at night. Or getting into trouble by being at the wrong place at the wrong time. His Ps4 broke in April. Think about April, May and June. Yes, I know worse things are going on in the world then a broken gaming center. He does have an iPhone, so he’s fortunate.
He was talking with dad about the broken ps4. He dad said he would give him $50 toward getting it repaired. I’m concerned it won’t be an easy fix. So we started looking for refurbished systems.
Harrison not once complained about not having his PlayStation. He’s been saving his money and looking for odd jobs to do for others.
Yesterday, however he made a comment to me that stung like a bee. He wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings or be mean. I’m not sure he knew that I was upset. But his comment was the truth and it was hard for me to face it.
When he brought up needing a new gaming system. He said, “Mom if Syd’s iPad broke you would buy her a new one right away.” Ouch! Harrison 1 Mama 0. Bad mommy moment as I held it together. I told him he was probably right. That I would sell blood or a kidney to get the iPad working for Sydney. He laughed and gave me a hug.
I went to my prayer closet. I felt terrible because he was right. I tried to analyze the situation that Syd needed the iPad for communication needs. But she really wanted to watch different versions of The Prince of Egypt on her iPad.
I figured Harrison has an iPhone he’s okay. But he wasn’t. He wanted his gaming system for the same reasons Sydney did. And it was wrong of me not to address it head on.
Maybe I am wrong for jumping quickly to get Sydney’s iPad fixed when it’s broken. Maybe I should have replaced his game immediately. But that’s not the reality of our life.
You may think it’s no big deal. Have Harrison go outside or do something else. Harrison has his struggles too. But just because they aren’t as severe as Sydney’s. I didn’t make his situation a priority.
I beat myself up pretty bad. I talked with him. We came up with a plan. He asked if I would pay half for him. I told him that we would talk about it later. Of course I would help him.
My guilty conscience was saying that this kid is great. He doesn’t complain and he’s flexible. He’s sacrificed so much. I just need to get him the damn ps4.
This was an epic parent fail on my part.